For most of my life, food and body image consumed every part of my life; so much so, that I found myself struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, and bulimia for 15 years.
I put all my energy into trying to live up to impossible, perfectionist standards that I believe I needed to obtain in order to feel like I was good enough, but inside, I was exhausted and emotionally drained. I felt like I was constantly chasing my tail, trying to make up for a binge or being “bad”, while punishing myself with hours of cardio and depriving myself of food.
“Nothing happens until the pain of remaining the same outweighs the pain of change.”
I finally hit rock bottom when I couldn’t go a day without bingeing or purging. My eating disorder had completely taken over every aspect of my life, and I needed help. I was depressed, lonely, and scared, and close to being kicked out of college because of my grades. I had pushed everyone away from me and isolated myself and desperately needed help. That’s when I took the leap and reached out, and started on my path to recovery.
Peace and freedom came when I was finally willing to challenge the beliefs and break away from the standards that kept me captive all those years.
When I began to eat the food that I had deemed forbidden because of so many rules, and instead, eat in a way that truly satisfied, energized, and nourished me.
And when I started listening to and trusting in my own body instead of forcing it to do what I thought it should. Our bodies are amazing, and they’ll tell you exactly what you need as long as you listen.
The peace and freedom that I feel today is priceless, and I’m no longer controlled by food and weight. Eating pizza or dessert no longer leads to a binge, followed by days of restriction, shame, and guilt, but it didn’t happen overnight. It took compassion, patience, and a willingness to step out of my comfort zone, while dealing with the underlying emotions and behaviors that kept me stuck.
Diet Culture and Society Has Let Us Down
We’ve been taught to rely on external cues to determine when, how much, and what we can eat, while basing our worth on how closely we can follow a diet or how much we weigh. Self-care has gone out the window and eating is no longer satisfying and pleasurable, but filled with guilt and confusion.
I see far too many women wasting precious time and energy worrying about what to eat and feeling ashamed because they fell off the wagon, and it’s truly robbing them of their joy. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
I believe in…
- Breaking free from the diet mentality
- Ditching food rules
- Learning to tap into and trust your body’s innate wisdom
- Compassion, curiosity, and kindness
- Holistic health
- Exercise and movement from a place of self-care and enjoyment vs. self-control and punishment
- Freedom from disordered eating patterns and beliefs
- Spending time and energy on the people and things you love, instead of worrying about what you just ate or counting calories