Do you ever notice how quick you are to judge yourself after a binge? If you’re anything like I was, I piled on the guilt and shame, telling myself how weak I was, while trying to figure out how I was going to “pay” for what I had done.
Little did I know at the time, bingeing was my body’s cry for nourishment and love, as well as a biological and physiological response as a result of food deprivation. But because I didn’t allow myself to feel anything other than guilt and shame, I couldn’t see this.
When you can’t see what’s really going on, you don’t ever get to the root. And when you can’t get to the root, you don’t know how to change or stop it. So you stay stuck; caught in a vicious, hopeless cycle, fueled with blame, self-hate, and a constant effort to try harder. It’s almost like being squeezed by a boa constrictor. The more we fight, the tighter the snake squeezes. Obviously the end result is a little different, but the point is the more you fight, the worse the struggle is going to get.
There are a lot of reasons why people binge, but the most important thing to know is that it’s okay to be where you are right now, just the way you are. I get it, it’s not a place you want to be. But accepting yourself in your current situation is the first step. With acceptance must come compassion, patience, and kindness towards the person who’s hurting, or may be just looking for love or comfort.
Have you ever met her? Have you ever taken the time to get to know what she thinks, feels, and believes deep down? Probably not, because you’ve been putting her down most of her life.
From here, we can start to get curious. To dive below the surface and find out what purpose the binge is doing for you. What is it providing? What purpose is it serving? Is it pleasure? An escape from a situation or an emotion that you don’t want to feel? Are you rebelling against a strict diet? Or is it simply an old habit that’s got you stuck?
When our first response after a binge is to beat ourselves up, there’s no room or time is to stop and ask,
“What’s really going on here?”
“What am I trying to get from this binge?”
Strip away the negativity and judgement and see what’s really there.
I’d love to hear from you. Call, text, or email me.
And if you live in Columbus, I’d love to meet you.